What is Child Inclusive Mediation?

If both parents agree, their children can meet with a specially trained mediator. This is called Child Inclusive Mediation (CIM). The meeting will take place separately from both parents. Children will typically be aged 10 or older to be seen, but there is flexibility. Siblings can be seen together, separately or a mixture of both.

How can Child Inclusive Mediation help my family as we move forward?

Research shows this part of the process brings real benefits to your children and to parents as they make decisions for the family.

The Family Mediation Council suggests that it can be helpful for a child to talk to a Mediator because:

  • A child may not tell a parent what they really think, especially if the child is aware of any conflict between the parents.
  • A child may not have an opportunity to talk to both parents at the same time and may be very worried about saying things to one parent rather than giving exactly the same message to both parents at the same time. It is not uncommon for children to say one thing to one parent and something completely different to the other parent.
  • In families where emotions are highly charged, children are preoccupied in keeping the peace, and may not feel they have had space or permission to dwell on what their own feelings are. Speaking to the mediator gives children in this situation a chance to think about their own views.
  • It gives all children a private space, to be asked how they are and if they have any views to be taken into account.
  • A parent is deeply involved in the emotional nurturing and wellbeing for a child and is not in an impartial place to hear or provide feedback of a child’s views. The parent might not understand or convey the child’s feelings to the other parent or mediator in the way the child would wish.
  • The things that the parents are worried about, including their worries about how the child is feeling, may make it more difficult for the child to talk freely about how they are feeling and what they think is important.

We can talk more about Child Inclusive Mediation at your Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM).